Why Are Women Still "Bitches"?

I'm a fan of Peggy Klaus, whose book "Brag: The Art of Tooting Your Horn Without Blowing It" contains great tips for communicating your value at work and elsewhere (you can find it in my reading list here). That's why I read Peggy's recent New York Times column with interest. Titled "Neither Men Nor Mice," Peggy shares how she's seeing women leaders increasingly becoming concerned about "being labeled 'a bitch'."

Ouch. I even saw this in my own work last week, when one of my clients, an incredibly accomplished young woman making great strides to strengthen her personal presence and confidence told me, "I am not afraid of being called a bitch." But I could tell she'd rather not be. Who wouldn't?

Why are women still "bitches?" Why should that even be a possibility today?

I wish I had an answer. When I first started working in the 80's, I might have said that it was novelty--women had just exploded in the workforce, with our floppy ties and nude stockings. In the 90's, I might have said that it was fear--that women had become more accomplished than ever, with money, strength, and power. In the 00's, I might have thought that it was concern--with an increased focus on family and home, society desperately longed for nurturing rather than one more hard-driving exec.

But now, we're in 2010. After a recession that corrected itself right out of many male-oriented jobs, more women are now in the workforce than men. Women have power, money, intelligence, and strength AND are managing loving and healthy families and communities. Even in the most male-oriented organizations, like the Catholic Church, women rule--I noticed for example that at my mom's church on Easter, 90% of the laypeople making the mass happen were female--including both altar girls.

So I'm not sure how to solve it, how to stop people--women and men!--from living in a two-standard world where a demanding guy is "leadership material" and a demanding gal is "bitchy." But I can ask the question and pay attention to it in my work. And finally, maybe I can care less about how and when the label applies to me, since when I refuse to give it any power, it fades further and further away.

What are your thoughts? Have you been called a "bitch?" Have you labeled someone else? I welcome your comments on this blog or via email at darcy@coachdarcy.com.

Comments

[coach purses]

It is quite obvious that there is no difficult thing (nothing difficult) in the world. if you make up your mind to do it, you will certainly accomplish your end. That stands to reason.